Secret. It's what makes a woman woman.
We've been so familiar with such phrase. I myself read it the first time in a detective comic, Conan. Well, it turns out, secrecy is not women's legacy only. Men too, seem to drive themselves into mystery. Woo!
We, now, are about to uncover the secrets of secret: why it becomes so important, when should it be revealed, and about respect to those who chose to keep their eggs eggs. Yeah. Eggs! And the secret inside.
Secret is merely (sometimes) a piece of dignity (or your life). Dignity, which if we peel of to the core, we'd find shame. Well, at times, fear too.
A council member had an affair, for example. If he had that dignity left packed up in his head and not in his genital, he would care enough to keep the affair below the surface (ironically, the affair itself is a obvious sign of the absence of dignity). Well, there's always a chance that he is dumb enough to record his adulterous act in his phone cell and that it may never occur to him that the record will go public one day in this age of advanced telecommunication technology (where information leaks easily).
This young kid got an F. He didn't study. Well, he didn't even care until it happened. There came two problems: one, he couldn't bear it if his friends ever found out (because kids could become the most evil, merciless, and annoying creatures who wouldn't stop mocking until the mockee broke down and cried and lost confidence in himself); two, he is afraid his mother might find out (why mother and not father is still the world's biggest secret, but yes, mother who usually knew whether or not her kid studied enough (perhaps) suffered twice as much disappointment for taking her kids failure as hers)
A seemingly well-mannered lady, has a habit of picking her nose. She kept it a secret. She thought it was an embarrassment. Another young mall mother enjoys Dangdut. She couldn't let her Jazz fellows discover her liking of music. A little girl had been long a victim of sexual harassment. She shut her mouth. The crime went down the frozen lake along with her silence. It was, for her, an ultimate shame, and at the same time, a life threatening secret.
So, for most people, secret holds the key to the dark side of their dignity and the guillotine that might take their head. Are we clear by now? Okay?
OK, well, in the world of Mafia, as seen on TV, if a man/woman happened to pass by and watched when a Don X killed Major Y, it will automatically assign him/her witness of crime. Prior to the case being taken to court, his/her witnessing was supposed to be a secret. It was a secret that could alter the life of Don X from well-manicured crib to a cockroach nest behind bars. Secret like this, held the power to imprison a well-known mob, but as well as the power to put the witness six feet under.
Something like that.
There are also the kinds of secret to keep in the name of idealism. "I can't let my family find out" might be the kind of idealism. But what secrets behind? Take, for example: I'm a two dollar whore, Ii can't let my little kids know; I am a paedophilic, no one in this neighbor must ever discover; I'm gay, my parents might disown me if they found out; I collected porn, I am an Oustad, the community would have me degraded if they caught me with the truth. In these cases, the secret the 'I' tried to hide, is essentially not a secret, for some people knew. The 'I' just tried his/her best to keep it a secret to a certain group of people he/she called: family, lover, friends, my Qur'an course mates, teachers, etc.
I believe, when it comes to who we are, life can be easy and beautiful when we don't have to hide a thing. I believe, when it comes to feeling comfortable about ourselves, our feelings are worth preserving the most. Not our parents' feeling. Not our family's name. I believe, and I can scream it out loud: Mom is still my Mom, even if she could not accept me for who i am, but then if she really couldn't, she, at that very moment decided to stop acting Mommy to me.
Not seldom that we are afraid of rejection. Little did we know, people that would love us just as much if we'd broken that egg, is those who truly loved us unconditionally. And as to they who changed their gestures towards us, well, we'd better start asking their integrity to whatever relationship you both had.
Secrets have their expiry date, but not much of us know of when to go public. An amazingly deep affair, where a child is involved, had had its expiry date the second the test pack showed two strips. It had to reveal itself. Because the longer you'd try to keep it, the stinkier it would rot. If such had happened, take the stage, go press-conference if you need to. Apologize. Lots of people would get hurt. The bright side, if you did it fast enough, it will cause an instant but short pain, like that when you quickly pull the bandage.
I had the resources of example from which i can sample you out how secrets have expiry date, but then it would serve you better to observe around and find out yourself.
Not everyone is always ready to open up. Some people enjoy their discretion. Keep everything secrets. When you asked them where they work, they would laugh and skip the question. In their personal profile, they put "ask me" from name to educational background. Some did it in the name of idealism, deciding that public perspective is worth-preserving when it's sunny day, and it is far more valuable than the comfort they searched down the alley of life. We must not give them the look of disdain. The discreets deserve a little respect. They are far better than those who refused to admit who they were. They just kept it secret without the intention to deceive and nor to make us think they were who they weren't.
Why did i wrote this? What are the conclusions? will there be a proceeding term? Have I preserve enough honesty within the story? Well, they are SECRET!
<Rocketeer Ksatriansyah>
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